The Boy in the Dress
by Blood Red Kisses
Summary: Zack was normally a fairly calm, and some would even say emotionless, kid. But today...today he looked absolutely miserable. Rated for cursing.


Hello, people! So I've been on a Zack/Brennan high lately and all the fics I find, while very beautifully written, end in Zack angst of some sort (with the exception of a select few...). They're pretty much Zack crushing on Brennan while she's falling for Booth. And that's fine, but I figured I'd add in one more actual Zack/Brennan oneshot into the itty bitty stream that barely exists. (Even though the Zack/Brennan in here is more subtle...Beh...)

This is something I thought of while re-watching the episode The Girl in the Mask. (Androgeny is awesome!) Eric Millegan, when he has longer hair, looks very young for one, and fairly effeminate for two. I've always been a huge fan of cross dressing, consensual or not (Bets) and I thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to see Zack in a dress. He's a little out of character here, but given the circumstances, it's to be expected. Plus, it's humor, a bit of a crackfic, if you will. And it's cute to see him flustered! *Huggles Zack*

By the way, if anyone's curious, this is exactly 1000 words.

Set sometime in season one, not sure when, and contains no spoilers.

* * *

Zack walked into the Jeffersonian with an expression resembling a kicked puppy. Now Zack was normally a fairly calm, and some would even say emotionless, kid. But today, he looked absolutely miserable.

Why, you ask?

Because today was the day he was forced to do the most unspeakable thing a man could ever do.

He had to wear a dress to work.

Now you may be asking yourself how the hell this came about. You see, it's a very simple explanation.

The young anthropologist had lost a bet.

Angela looked up from her sketch pad and smirked when she saw the dress she had picked out on the boy she had seduced into a losing bet.

"You look so adorable in that dress, Zackie!"

Zack glared at his tormentor and mumbled something under his breath.

"Hey, Ange, I know what that fa- whoa, Zack, what the fuck?" Hodgins stopped dead in his tracks and stared at Zack.

The dress Zack sported was black with a lot of pink lace surrounding it. It was skin tight velvet up until it reached his waist where a tulle skirt poofed out around him. The sleeves were short and also poofy, with pink lace at the end. It was about knee length and where it ended, more bits of pink lace poked out innocently. There was a bright pink ribbon with black lace tied around his neck. He wore black stockings underneath and completed the outfit with a pair of deep black Mary Jane's.

His hair was brushed neatly and styled around his face with a small pink bow clipped to the side of his hair. He was lucky to be spared most makeup, but he did have to suffer through eye liner and mascara.

Zack directed his glare to the floor and wished, despite his logical brain saying it was impossible, that either he or Angela would spontaneously explode. If he did, he wouldn't have to endure this pain and embarrassment. If it was Angela…well, think of it as revenge.

"Holy hell…" Hodgins was more confused than one could ever imagine. But it was no wonder with his best friend standing there in a frilly dress.

He was about to answer when they heard a loud 'splash' of papers falling to the ground.

"Zack…? May I ask why you're wearing that?" Doctor Brennan's voice sounded behind Zack. He felt his face flush a deep red as he slowly turned around to face his boss and Agent Booth. Booth's mouth hung open in shock and papers littered the floor where he stood. Brennan just looked quizzical.

"I-I lost a b-bet with Angela…" he stammered. Zack was never the stammering type, but needless to say, he was quite embarrassed to be seen like this.

Especially by Brennan.

"Dude, you lost a bet and have to wear _that_?" Hodgins laughed. "I feel _so_ bad for you, man!"

Zack mumbled something along the lines of, "You should," and then he looked Brennan in the eye, which was very difficult for him to do at the moment. "I do not understand how I could have lost. It was an easy calculation. I-" he trailed off, hands trembling slightly.

"Wow, Zack. You really look like a girl in that dress!" Booth teased as he picked up the files he had dropped a few moments earlier.

"Please, Agent Booth, this is awkward enough as it is." He sighed and just when he thought he was going to be okay, Doctor Goodman entered the room.

He stared at Zack, as all the others had, and opened his mouth to say something.

"He lost a bet with Angela." Booth grinned at the poor kid.

Zack nodded and let his gaze fall to the ground once more. This was the worst day of his life. Well, it was the worst of his life _so far_.

"Miss Montenegro, I need you to do a facial analysis. Doctor Hodgins, did you find out what that fabric was?" Goodman's gaze kept traveling over to Zack despite his efforts to spare the poor boy any more trauma.

"Yes, I did. It's…" Hodgins led Goodman back to his station to explain everything. Angela gave one more smirk towards Zack and headed off to her own station to work on the victim's face. Booth nodded a 'see ya' to Brennan and made his way out of the Jeffersonian.

And that left Brennan and Zack in the same room together, him blushing and her staring.

Zack was unnerved at this situation. He has had a crush on his boss since he first met her and to be stuck here with her while he was dressed the way was worse than anything else he could possibly imagine, and Zack had a vivid imagination.

She smiled gently at him. "Booth is right. You do look very feminine in that dress." He tensed a little. "One thing I've always noticed about you is that you have a more effeminate physique. And it's really emphasized by the way your hair is curled around your jawbone and by the way the dress hugs your abdomen."

Zack's heart skipped a beat. He wasn't sure if she was complimenting him, or just stating facts. She was very direct and never did much flirting, so he didn't really know what to think.

Brennan smiled at his beet red face while Zack shifted his position.

"But what Booth failed to mention is that you do, in fact, look very beautiful."

Zack's face turned about three shades darker than it already was, if that was possible. He hadn't expected Brennan to say anything at all about this, let alone what she had just said. He nodded a thanks.

"No need to thank me, Zack. It's the simple truth." She walked over to him and kissed his cheek. She then kept walking towards the bone room, not once glancing over her shoulder.

Zack might have been wrong about today.

It wasn't the worst day of his life.

It was the best.

* * *

KISSY!

I tried to keep everyone in character as much as possible given that Zack is standing there in a dress. Did I succeed? Completely fail? Did you like it at all? Only you can tell me in those awesome little reviews people send!


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